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sad
how can a father not love his child? after 18 years of not knowing my father or anything about him but his name and where he once lived i decided that i wanted to find him i looked him up on the internet and found that he had a profile on some finder site and all the info it gave was the he was family with susan catlin (my mom), frank boutwell and some other guy. it didnt give an adress a number an email or any info to were i could reach him. i thought hmm why not look this frank guy up so i looked on yellow pages.com and found him he lived in CT (where my father is from) it gave his adress and number i was to chicked to call so richard called and left a messege. about thirty mins later the phones rings and rich answers it. it is frank. his wife had gotten the message that rich left about how i was looking for my father joel lynn boutwell and if you know him please call back. well he ends up being my uncle and got ahold of joel and told him i was looking for him and gave him my number… joel calls me and we talk and he asks questions and i ask questions and so on he makes a face book so i can see pictures i added him… i didnt hear from him a week later and i called him we talk again… two weeks go by i call again we talk…three weeks go by i write him asking why he doesnt call… he calls we talk… that was about a month before i got married i havent heard from him since any way my point is that i dont no if i made a mistake contacting him i cant figure out if im hurting more b/c i no he wants nothing to do with me know. would i be hurting less if i would have never contacted him i guess its to late no but how can he be on face book no my number and not want to talk in any way he created me for crying out loud im your child who you once wanted and once loved why dont you want anything to do with me what did i do wrong what do i have to do to make you love me
